GREENYGREY’S RAMBLES

Hi, it’s Wolfgang von Greenygrey here. 

Exciting news.  I have managed to see the goodly Green (who you will of course remember is being held in solitary confinement on trumped up charges after being divided from its Grey other half by the evil Grand Council), and it is holding up well, and is still hopeful of a return to better times for the Greenygrey.

It sends its best wishes to all of you, and thanks you for your support in keeping the Greenygrey habitat alive, and at the same time keeping its dreams alive.

Have a great week, WvG.

Hello, it’s Wolfgang von Greenygrey here.  It’s bad news about the Grand Council resurrecting Heinrich the Witch-Finder General (I refuse to follow the GC by calling him the Heavenly), and him banning music and lots more at next year’s Talibanury, but hopefully we will be able to curtail his power before next year.  There is better news for the Grey, who has met Don Quixote and Sancho Panza by way of Cervantes, Western Australia, and it is now finally approaching Perth.  Here are its rambling reports from a rustic rut in Latham:

Werewolf of Oz Latest:

Grey Follows Eagles to Hotel California

Hi, you won’t believe this, but I’m still in Latham. I’m beginning to think I belong here or something, and exist only in Latham!

Returning to Latham as Another

After I had my fANTastic ant encounter I returned to slumber and slept for what seemed an eternity. I think I reached the borders of the aboriginee dreamtime, but then had to return.

I was hungry and thirsty, so I thought I’d return to Latham to re-energise.

I had a bit of an out of body experience as I returned to the town, and felt like I was almost still in dreamtime.

The sign was the right way round this time, clearly spelling out: LATHAM.

As I was walking through town I saw some people playing football and then the ball went astray; landing at the feet of what looked like another grey werewolf.

The werewolf kicked it back, and then got talking to the players, before going to a bar with them, just as I had sometime before.

Following the Eagles to the Hotel California

I was feeling perplexed, and thought I’d better find somewhere to stay to get myself back together.

I looked up into the hazy midday heat, and a couple of eagles seemed to be trying to lead me somewhere, as they waved their wings in a southerly direction.

So I followed them until they flew down and rested on a hotel called California. I thought it was a bit of a strange name for a hotel in Western Australia, but I suppose it wasn’t that extraordinary really.

In fact, it all reminded me of the ‘Hotel California’ song by the Eagles, and how they sang about not being able to leave the lovely place. It was quite a coincidence actually.

I went straight to bed.

Is Britain Sunny Now? Grey Dreams and Nightmares

I seemed to sleep for ever. I dreamt that Britain was sunny all the time now, and that everybody and everything was joyous under the continual blue skies and bright sunshine.

I thought that Britain might be so effervescent now that stars had fallen down to Earth in the form of birds to re-energise their glows amongst all the brightness.

I thought that Green may have forgotten me already, and that it was now enjoying its time with Blue and Yellow: I remembered that if you mix blue and yellow you get green, so maybe they were all just meant to be together all the while. Maybe the Grand Council does know everything.

I also wondered who that Grey Werewolf I’d seen was. Was it connected to me, or was it another me: was there a message within the vision? Was it there to lead or follow, or was it just to show me how grey and ragamuffinish I look?

When I awoke my grey fur was soaked through, and I felt rather queasy.

Animals Visit Werewolf Grey to Save the Day

Lassie, Lassie, is that you Lassie. I was in turmoil, and Lassie was going through my mind like a mountain pass: jumping over and between the grey matter of my bonce as it bounded along and through rocky ridges in its Hollywood peak. Lassie, Lassie, where are you leading me, what are you trying to tell me. Lassie, Lassie, can I trust you, or are you a false guide. Lassie, Lassie, you look so good, but you might be under the control of a malevolent spirit.

Animals Tell Werewolf Grey to Get Out of Latham

Then Lassie was joined by all the other animals I’d met on my travel so far: Vombat the wombat was on guitar, Digger the dingo was on bass and Dolly the Dolphin was on drums, with the others providing backing vocals behind Lassie.

Together they started singing We Just Gotta Get Out of this Place and I knew then I could trust the message; while one source is open to question, and may just be literary nonsense, several trustworthy sources suggest veracity.

Lassie is not Literary Nonsense

So I crawled out of bed and made it downstairs. I was shocked to see it was full of grey werewolves. I asked one how long it had been here, and it said it arrived one day before me. I asked another, and it said it arrived one day after.

I sensed a pattern emerging, but didn’t want to follow the thread, so I stumbled towards the door, and was quite surprised that it opened first time, and I had emerged into sunshine having left Latham’s Hotel California.

Eagles Lead Werewolf Grey on Long Road Out of Latham

The same Eagles that had led me to the hotel were flying above, and they now led me to ‘a dark desert highway…’ where ‘cool wind in my hair…’ calmed me down. It seemed like a long road out of Latham, but after a few hours I could see it no more.

Hello, this is the Grand Council, with more news and rules.  Firstly, we have been seeing disturbing images and sounds of people seeming to enjoy themselves at festivals over the summer.  This is obviously against the demands of the Grand Council, and must stop at once: listening to music amongst nature is the work of the anti-GC and looks like some sort of unGCly paganism.

Witch-Finder General Resurrected for the Grand Council Talibanury Festival 

As we are all seeing and knowing, we have scoured the world of the past and present for the best leaders and ideas, and so have resurrected the Witch-Finder General lead author of the Malleus Maleficarum, Heinrich Kramer, which was responsible for thousands of people, mostly women, being tortured and burnt in northern Europe back in the good old days.

We have decided to give Heinrich a 21st century makeover, and so he will be known from now on as Heinrich the Heavenly.

And in honour of the noble Taliban, who love a bit of torturing and killing of people of all ages in the name of their GC, we have decided to name our festival: Talibanury.  Unlike the unGCly festivals of this year, there will be:

• no music
• no touching 
• no alcohol
• no women showing skin or disobeying men

 We chose Heinrich to be the committee leader after reading this fantastic recommendation:

“I’ve been writing my own book recently on Historical Witchcraft. No research could be complete without reading and studying the Malleus Maleficarum. I read this book, along with others on the same subject, and although you may need a dictionary handy while reading this book - it is 100% quality! I recommend this book to EVERYONE Catholic all the way to Pagan. Why would a Witch recommend this book to a Christian and/or Catholic to read you may ask? Because it’s important for them to understand the history of their religion as well and the crimes committed in the name of Jesus Christ. The Malleus Maleficarum was created as a ‘handbook’ for finding, torturing and ridding Europe of Witches and Pagans and other Non-Christians. Basically this entire era in history was evolved from a need for land, a need for power and the persecution of those women who were given credibility for their abilities as healers, midwives, etc. Now, this is not to say that males were not persecuited - however, the persecution of women was done because it was unfathomable that women could have the knowledge of ‘educated’ men as it pertained to medicine and the good that they had done for healing could not be attributed to them when the Christians felt that this could only be attributed to GOD.”

from buzzilions review.

Hello, it’s Wolfgang von Greenygrey here.  Did you know it was 23 years ago today that Marc Latham set off on his hitch-hiking and hoboing travelling journey to Europe. 

Some people think that this influenced the Greenygrey’s Rambles, although the Greenygrey may have been travelling the world much sooner this. 

This is of course lost in the mystery of time and space, as Richard Dawkins admits many things are in his search for the truth about science and religion on Planet Earth.  Richard Dawkins’s  latest documentary on how children are being misled and tribalised in the name of education by established religions (cults?) is now viewable in the UK from the link above.

That reminds me how the Grand Council try to ignore all the above and say that none of it happened; and that the world only started when they took power of the Greenygrey website and declared this the year zero (GCO).

Maybe for them it is better to try and hide away from knowledge and truth, but should they inflict it on others?

Hi, it’s Wolfgang von Greenygrey here.  Sorry you had to put up with the ranting of the Grand Council last week, but they have to shout loudly to try and convince even themselves of their righteousness. 

Deep down they have the same doubts about life and creation as everything else, but they have to keep up a front of superiority and morality to justify themselves and keep themselves in their powerful positions, where they can get their kicks from committing sadistic acts on those they accuse of crimes under the GC creation myth.

When if any real creator did create life it would surely be more appalled by people destroying the beauty it created than it was offended by those who don’t feel the need to hide what the Creator created within them.

And it was not as if all the Chechnyan women in that documentary accepted their position.  Some bravely tried to continue as normal, even though they risked harsh punishments for it, and perhaps even death. 

Anyway, on a brighter note, Grey has found itself in a home from home after taking the Grey Road to Grey, Western Australia.  Yep, the coincidences just keep on coming for the Grey in Western Australia.

Hello, this is the Grand Council.  We have some nice new rules to control you, and set you on the path to only thinking what we allow you: that is the true freedom, as you will soon find out.

Music and Poetry are Blasphemous Works of the Anti-GC

You are forthwith banned from listening to music and reading poetry.  When we have created the law according to the Grand Council you will be allowed to read that, and only that. 

You will follow our words to the letter, and not allow any independent thought, freedom or creativity to enter your minds.  You must especially eradicate any memories of the Greenygrey.

Rolling Stones, Marc Latham and the Beatles are So Anti-GC

Beyond the Greenygrey, you should also especially avoid the Rolling Stones, Marc Latham and the Beatles: a trinity of evil among the human world.

Did you know that John Lennon and Marc Latham’s names both have ten letters.  As if that wasn’t evil enough, their first names and surnames have four and six letter combinations.  This is obviously the work of the anti-GC. 

And when we were reading Marc Latham’s latest free thinking abomination poem, Planet Rock played Sympathy for the Devil by the Rolling Stones.  Rock music is so anti-GC!

So you are totally banned from visiting the Folding Mirror poetry site to read a poem that mixes the evils of film-making, free living and scientific reasoning to create A Member of the Human Race Between Time and Place.

New Recommended Alternatives: Bride-Stealing and Woman-Blaming

If you need to take your minds off the evil activities of music and poetry, and are bored with the very nice witch-burning and woman-stoning, why not try some bride-stealing and woman-blaming, which are already very popular parts of Chechnyan culture according to Lucy Ash’s documentary.  This film is okay for you to watch, because it shows the delights of a divided community that doesn’t seem divided - because the women accept their lower status.  As they always should.

These were the kind of things that made western Europe so delightfully dystopian in Medieval times, and it won’t take long to roll back the years to a new glorious age…

Hello, it’s Wolfgang von Greenygrey again.  Hopefully, it’s a nice surprise, as you might have been expecting the Grand Council, but we don’t take it in turns here you know.  It is a battle of wills of the most momentous kind.  Anyway, I just popped on to bring you another of Grey’s blogs from Western Australia, and some good news.  It seems as if the grey one has escaped from Latham with the help of the Animals and Eagles, and has got out of the place on a long road.

Here are its first blogs from Latham, West Australia:

Latham is Weird Off the Rails

I made good progress on the way to Latham, but never really felt like I was getting nearer: like some things you just can’t reach. I also passed some signs to Perth on the way. It was a bit of a roundabout way to get to Perth, but Latham did sound rather interesting, as Lassie’d suggested.

Reaching and Walking All Over Latham

I shapeshifted into an emu for the last part of the journey and made good progress after that. I didn’t know I’d arrived when I got there, because the Welcome sign said MAHTAL rather than LATHAM, like there was expected to be some kind of mirror effect or something. I thought it seemed kind of weird, so I quickly changed into a human.

But it seemed really nice when I got inside, with lots of people happily playing sports and doing fun things in forested parks and pristine lakes.

However, then I crossed the tracks and it didn’t seem nice at all, with lots of people surviving in the sewers and slaving in sweat shops; and this not surprisingly led to a rather depressing and hostile atmosphere. I felt more at home on this side of the tracks funnily enough. I think Green would have preferred the other.

Meeting Twentieth Century British People Used as Forced Labour

A ball fell into my path, and I kicked it back to its owners. They asked where I was from, and I said I’d just been sent over from Britain. They said that was funny, because the same had happened to them as child migrants fifty years before.

Moreover, as I hadn’t been allowed contact with Green, they never heard from their families. They had also been used as forced labour, so at least I was a little better off, being free.

They said life had improved now, and bought me lunch in a pub where we continued our chat. It was a nice atmosphere in the pub, and although I only intended to drink a schooner or two, once I had the taste I found it difficult to leave.

I awoke the next day on the edge of town.

The Wisdom of Ants is Pants when Hungover

Sorry I haven’t blogged for a while, but things have gone all weird in Latham, and I seem to have lost track of space and time, as well as self.  I was going to get up after my day on the ale in Latham, but then I felt groggy and my head hurt so I lay back down. Then I heard something saying: ‘You think you’re big you do, don’t you.’I looked up and could see nothing around. I thought I must be hearing voices in my confused state.But then I heard it again: ‘You think you’re big you do, don’t you.’ And this time it was followed by: ‘Oi, you big bundle of grey fluff, you think you’re big don’t you, you can’t even see me down here.’ So I looked down and saw an ant, carrying a massive weight on its back, and working hard farming aphids. I felt quite guilty, sleeping off a hangover, while that wee chap was working so hard. Then it said: ‘Well, when you get a chance, read Marc Latham’s ant theory article on Existential, because it might make you look on ants, humanity, life, the universe and the Great Scheme of Things in a completely different way…or maybe a little anyway, and you might even notice how similar us ants are to you werewolves.’ I was just about to respond, but it had disappeared as quickly as it had arrived. I went back to sleep, and dreamt of antstronauts exploring the universe. 

Hello, it’s Wolfgang von Greenygrey here.  I just read the Grand Council’s verdict on Kate Moss, and I am  a little shocked, if not surprised.  The Grand Council is not made up of totally evil and sadistic members, but you know that power can corrupt, and once a bandwagon is under way many will follow it without thinking.

Kate Moss is Safe from the Grand Council in the Real World

If you are worried about Kate Moss, please don’t be, as she is in no danger in the real world.  The Grand Council think they already know and own everything, but in reality they only control their own minds, and as long as Kate Moss stays out of their minds she is safe.

Grey is like a Colourless Shadow of its Former Self

Although there is no need to worry about Kate Moss, I am very worried about Grey, who seems to be finding it difficult to get out of Latham, and even thinks that it only exists in Latham.  I am shocked that it has deteriorated so quickly.

It seemed quite delerious in its last Australia Traveller blog, and seems to think Britain has become wonderful now that it has been sent away. 

 In fact, the rivers have been drying up without it, and there is now a water shortage. 

Britain is missing the Grey, but Grey has no way of knowing that.  I hope it can pull itself together soon, and get out of Latham to some communications, so that it can find out the truth.

That is all for now, and enjoy your Sunday!

Hello, this is the Grand Council with some news and new orders to keep you behaving as we dictate.

Grand Council Sentences Kate Moss to Death

We have decided to sentence Kate Moss to death this morning, as we were bored, and we have decided to consider her free living and independent achievement behaviour as unacceptable in the new Grand Council world we all live in. 

To show that we are very merciful, she will have a choice of execution: burnt at the stake or stoned to death.

We will of course not derive any enjoyment from the sadistic ceremony, and therefore not sin at all: all the sin is hers in the eyes of the Grand Council, and the Grand Council knows everything.

That is all for now, and remember to pray for us when you leave.

Hello, it’s Wolfgang von Greenygrey again.  Great news for the Greenygrey cause, because many celebrities have started dying their hair grey to support the Grey after it was sent to Australia by the Grand Council.  Yes, celebrities like Kate Moss and Kelis have gone grey to support the Grey.  If only the Grey knew, I’m sure it would brighten it up.  It seems to be stuck in a bit of a rut at the moment in Latham, although it is resting up at the Hotel California after being led there by some eagles.  Hopefully a bit of rest will sort it out.

More Australian Travelling Werewolf Blogs

Anyway, I have collected more of its blogs for your pleasure, as I know it is a long way to travel to Grey’s Australia blog.

Swimming with Dolphins after Brunching on Buns Buried in Bunbury

Posted: July 21, 2010 by oniongreyv in Grey’s travel diary
Tags: Bunbury, swimming with dolphins, roadrunner, Koombanna Bay, buns, twighlight

I left Margaret Rivers in Margaret River at first light, refreshed after a great whale sound aided winks that must have added up to much more than forty: I would hazard a guess that my winks that night reached somewhere in the range of between seventy and eighty, and possibly even more than double the renowned forty.

Burning Rubber Roadrunner to Bunbury

It was a beautiful sunny morning and I felt like cruising down the highway with the wind in my hair. So I shapeshifted into a roadrunner and picked some speed up. However, this of course meant the wind was in my feathers, and I felt a bit of a turncoat against my old hero, Wile E. Coyote, for a while.

Nevertheless, it was a most enjoyable journey down the freeway, and I arrived in Bunbury in time for a bit of brunch. The name of the city made me bun hungry, and I looked for a bakery, after changing into a human; a roadrunner looking for food in the middle of a surprisingly large metropolis would look a little strange.

Buried Buns in the Bunbury Underground

However, a local called Rose Hotel told me that all the bakeries were underground on the edge of town, to keep the produce cool in the hot summers.

So I made my way out to the edge of town and lo and behold, found many underground bakeries with the most deliciously fresh and cool buns. The value of burying buns was clear to see and taste.

Dipping into the Dolphin Discovery Centre

I got talking to a dolphin called Dolly who swam up to the bakery (it had land, sea and air entrances) from Koombanna Bay. It said it was an idyllic spot, and invited me over after we’d finished bun munching.

So I shapeshifted into a dolphin after my last bit of bun fun, and had a wonderful evening swimming in the clear Koombanna waters with a hundred bottlenose dolphins.

Yes, it had been some day, fitting in roadrunning and dolphinswimming either side of biting through a baker’s dozen of Bunbury’s best buried buns.

As I lay on the ocean waves under a starry moonlit night in that twilight time between wakefulness and slumber I thought I heard a dog barking on the distant shore. It’s origins would soon become clear, and lead me on another amazing adventure.

Travelling Across the Australia Outback Without Pack, Sack or Bivouac

Posted: July 23, 2010 by oniongreyv in Grey’s travel diary
Tags: collie, comedy parody, literary nonsense, swimming with dolphins, tiger snake

After awakening into a bright sunny morning I again heard the haunting barking lullabies that seemed to be sailing across the waves and straight down my lugholes.

So after a freshening swim I bade farewell to delightful Dolly and the dolphins and made my way to the golden shore.

Smell or Sound, Hot Cross Buns or Hound

My senses were thrown into chaos when I reached the shore just south of Bunbury.

From the northerly direction I was heading came the pungent smell of freshly made hot cross buns, but to the east I heard the lyrical libretto lullaby that sounded like it could be a lapdog and labrador rendition of Les Miserables.

This time my curiosity called the path, and I made a scramble to ramble despite my belly grumbling and a rumbling.

Hiking Australia: Walkie for Collie

I took my time as I headed across the South Western Highway, enjoying the endless sunshine that seemed to stretch across the outback.

I saw a tiger snake going in the opposite direction and it reminded me of Ernie the floor rider in Florida that Green and I made the acquaintance of back on our epic ramble.

There was no communication with the snake this time though, and the barking of dogs from over the eastern horizon was the only sound that pierced the 360 degree silence.

Then I saw a sign for Collie, and everything seemed to start making sense…or did it?

Grey’s Anatomy Plot Exposed by Collie Twins’ Sensitive Sniffing Scrutinous Security

Posted: July 25, 2010 by oniongreyv in Grey’s travel diary
Tags: collie, comedy parody, literary nonsense, spoof and satire, Western Australia travel

The town of Collie came into view through the hazy heat, and the sound of barking dogs grew louder. I thought I’d take the hint and shapeshift into a collie, and chose a border guise from a surprisingly large choice. Grey’s anatomy changed to black and white.

Famous Collies on the Edge of Town

As I reached Collie a shetland sheepdog carrying a lassie over his shoulder ran past me as if he was rushing to save somebody or something.

A border collie then flew over my head, which I thought was as unlikely as seeing pigs fly. Green and I did not try becoming a flying collie even when our unified powers were at their height .

Meeting the Collie Twins: Colin and Ollie

Then I reached the edge of Collie, and met a couple of dogs guarding the town entrance.

They asked who I might be, and I replied that I was a border collie, as it should be plain to see. And who may they be, I did respondee.

The one with a beard said they were Colin and Ollie McNab: respected and renowned around these parts as the Collie twins.

They said their good mother was an Australian Stumpy Tail Cattle Dog collie, and their now dearly departed proud father was part McNab Shepherd collie and part Bearded collie.

I said it was my pleasure to make their acquaintance.

They apologised for putting me under scrutiny, but explained that Collie was a big bun-mining town, and supplied Bunbury with most of its buns.

The gift of a veritable bun goldmine was unfortunately a double-edged sword, with the buns like the centre of a folding mirror, as the bun bonanza also attracted desperados desperate to get their meddlesome mitts on the munchable minerals that are moulded into muffins.

Grey’s Anatomy Plot Exposed

So the Collie twins sniffed around my person with sensitive security. I was a little nervous, and this escalated into panic when Colin asked how long I had been a collie.

I didn’t want to lie to such fine upstanding collies so I explained my situation, and how I had shapeshifted into a collie when I had been drawn in this here direction by the dog barking and then saw that the town was called Collie.

How would the Collie twins take my shapeshifting story. Well, that is another tale good readers…or to be more precise, the end of this one that’ll have to wait until another day…